HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
