You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize
