Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
