think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize