I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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