First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
