so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
