shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
