You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
And then he peed in my hair
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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