Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
