Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
