I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
