Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
