It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
