I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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