I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
