wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
