your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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