How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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