Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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