How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
