I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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