when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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