oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize