I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm both gender and math confused
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
