Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
