You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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