your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i permit you to call me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
