Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize