booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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