Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
