I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
