She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
there's paper in my vomit.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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