adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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