I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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