They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
