wat bout pragnant strippers??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
