Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
