White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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