Jerry, you need to find god
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
