people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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