I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
