Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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