We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
