allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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