drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
