Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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