I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
