You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I look better un-naked...
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
