They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
this is an emotional support booty call
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
