This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
