I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm jealous of your bromance
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
