I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
