I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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