UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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