what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there was a trapeze. enough said
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize