my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
time to smoke my breakfast
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
