Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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