Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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