I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
