My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
