Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
