i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
