the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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