According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
i think i just naturally attract stoners
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
