Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The power of my boobs compel you
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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