I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
