Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
