I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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